The Grumpy Old Man

Remember when phones rang, neighbors waved, and a cup of coffee cost less than a car payment? The Grumpy Old Man does, and he's got a few things to say about what happened next. This is a warm, laugh-out-loud collection of complaints, rants, lists, and short essays about everything wrong with modern life: self-checkout lanes that need help, TVs that need a software update, restaurants too loud to hear yourself chew, passwords that demand a symbol you've never seen on a keyboard, and the slow disappearance of common sense, customer service, and a good firm handshake. In the tradition of Andy Rooney's "60 Minutes" essays and Lewis Black's stand-up rants, The Grumpy Old Man is funny without being mean, nostalgic without being bitter. Every chapter feels like sitting on the porch with your father, your grandfather, or your favorite cranky uncle as he explains, with perfect comic timing, exactly why everything used to be better. Inside, you'll find: - Short, snackable rants you can read in two minutes perfect for the coffee table, the bathroom, or the airport - Longer essays on the things that really get under his skin (cars that beep at you, news that yells at you, kids who can't make eye contact) - Lists, observations, and one-liners that capture the universal frustrations of getting older in a world that won't slow down - The occasional moment of unexpected sweetness, because underneath every grumpy old man is someone who just misses how things used to be Perfect for: A Father's Day gift for Dad, Grandpa, Stepdad, or Father-in-Law. A Christmas stocking stuffer or birthday gift for the curmudgeon in your life - A retirement gift for the newly-minted full-time complainer Boomers and Gen Xers who want to laugh at their own pet peeves - Anyone (yes, even millennials) who feels "old at heart" and secretly agrees with every word If you love Andy Rooney, Lewis Black, Dave Barry, or any humorist who can make you laugh and nod at the same time, you'll want this one on your shelf or, more likely, gifted to someone who absolutely needs it. Warning: may cause involuntary nodding, frequent "exactly!" outbursts, and the urge to read passages aloud to anyone within earshot. Read more